CASH CAB

Has anyone watched Cash Cab on Discovery Channel. I am hooked. The basic premise is people hail a cab in NYC and once they are in, they play a game show on the way to their destination. They get a street shout out where they ask someone on the street to help them answer a question, and a phone shout out where they call someone. The best part is that if they miss 3 questions, the cab drops them off wherever they happen to be. It is so fun. Cab driver and host Ben is a hottie as well. Check out Cash Cab on Discovery weekdays from 5-6.

Now that's a Tree!!!

If you look closely it has Madonna ornaments on it and it is topped with her Madgesty on the cross. I want to do this tree next year to show Madonna much love by celebrating the Kabbalah season with her. Of course it will never happen, Martha (Tim) will not allow it. I can't so much as touch the tree God forbid as I may have an ornament in the wrong place.

Anyway, have a Happy Holiday season. And remember those immortal words from Madonna and Eartha Kitt.... Santa Baby, stick a sable under the tree, for me. I've been an awful good girl. So hurry down the chimney tonight!

It's the Most Dreadful Time of the Year!!!

I know it's getting old, but I am really hating Christmas this year. My store is soooooooo busy it is ridiculous. The reason: EVERYTHING IN THE STORE IS 70% OFF!!!! No Shit, 70% off. Do you know what that does to suburban housewives who have nothing better to do than to spend their useless, but hot, husbands money. They come in droves, picking up hundreds of greeting cards. More than they will ever give out in their lifetime. And they are driving me nuts. I can't wait til either Christmas gets here or our store closes, whichever comes first.

Yes, my store is closing. Not officially closing, at least not from the corporate office. But we are closing. Why else would they put us at 70 effing percent off two weeks before the helliday? As most of us who work retail know, the powers that be will not tell us we are closing because they don't want us to leave them during Christmas. They would rather clsoe us after Christmas so we can't find jobs. I am taking this as a sign to find a new line of work. I am a bitter retail queen, it's time to become a bitter marketing queen, or a bitter receptionist. Something. I don't care really.

OK. Now just to cheer myself up, I am posting the beefcake of the week. I think I am retiring my boyfriends list. It is getting hard to find so many pics. So I am going to post random pics of hot studs who I find SMOKIN' HOT! My first is Cameron Mathison who is sooo hot that I may have to start watching All MY Children.

They have a transgendered character on the show, maybe they could make Cameron's character Ryan gay and I could be his love interest. What! It could happen!!!

Happy Effing Holidays

Well the holiday season has begun. Us retail slaves are putting up with customer shit and not having time to enjoy the season ourselves. Customers just plain suck this year. Whatever happened to the joy of the season? Apparently finding the perfect gift is more important than spreading cheer. I'm sure that's what Jesus wanted Christmas to be. So Good Luck finding XBox 360, Playstation Wii, or Tickle Me Elmo Bitches. Just don't get pissed off at us if we don't have something on December 23rd because you were to lame to start shopping in October.

In other news, the saga of my ankle surgery continues. I have never fully recovered from my surgery that occurred in April 2005. Almost 2 years of this crap and it's still not over. I am seeing a new "specialist" to figure out why the hell I am still in so much pain. Naturally the first thing out of his mouth is that I need to get out of retail. No Shit Sherlock! If one of the doctors who has suggested that over the past 2 years had offered me a job, there would be no problem. But instead they put the pressure on me instead, At least this specialist has found a possible reason why I am still in pain. There appears to be a tear in one of my tendons. I'm not sure exactly what that means, but at this point I'll go under the knife again just to feel good again. Oy Vey.

Anyway, enough Kavechting. I hope all my retail peeps hang in there. Only 16 more days!!!!

Holiday Boyfriends for December 2006

15. Tim McGraw

14. Ryan Reynolds

13. Justin Chambers

12. Clinton Kelly

11. Scott Bakula

10. Patrick Dempsey

9. Brody Hutzler

8. David Boreanaz

7. Balthazar Getty

6. Ricardo Antonio Chavira

5. Andy Roddick

4. Reichen Lemkuhl

3. Jake Gyllenhaal

2. Cameron Mathison

1. Julian McMahon

Turkey of the week award.

Happy Thanksgiving Day y'all. Eat, Drink, and be thankful that we only have 2 years left of the Bush regime!

In celebration of the holiday, I am giving my Turkey of the week award. No it's not to K-Fed. It's not even to our President. No my Turkey of the week is Wal-Mart for caving to the religious right who was going to boycott them this weekend for giving funds to a Gay advocacy group. Now we have another reason to hate Wal-Mart. Boycott Wal-Mart, not only this weekend, but always!!! Viva la Target!!!

Way to Go BUCKEYES!!!!

Next Stop: the National Championship game. The Ohio State Buckeyes BEAT Michigan 42-39 in what was the best game I've ever seen. Now in the spirit of the rivalry:

Why is ice no longer available at Michigan football games?
Because the senior who knew the recipe finally graduated.

What did the Michigan grad say to the OSU grad?
"Welcome to McDonalds. May I take your order please?"

What's the only sign of intelligent life in Ann Arbor?
Columbus: 187 Miles

And Finally....
A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a Michigan joke?" The guy replies, "Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I am 6' tall, 200 lbs. and I am a Michigan Graduate. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", 225 lbs. and he is a Michigan Graduate. The guy right next to him is 6'5", 250 lbs. and he is also a Michigan Graduate. Now, you still wanna tell me that joke?" The first guy says, "No, not if I'm going to have to explain it three times"

Finally....

The best news ever has happened.... Britney Spears is divorcing K-Fed!!! Thank God in heaven. Britney has come to her senses dumping that nasty shit. What she ever saw in him I'll never figure out. Listen up Brit, (she reads my blog ya know), Make a new CD, have a major tour next year and resurrect your career. Tim and I will be there front and center to support your comeback. We love you Britney!!! Just pick a better hubby next time, maybe Justin Timberlake again.

The only thing that could make this day better is having the Democrats take control of Congress. I'll post tomorrow with the results form Ohio. I hope you voted today. If not, you still have a few minutes to get to the polls..... Vote people!! Haven't we had enough of Bush!?! If you didn't vote, don't bitch. You lost that right.

In the meantime, let's revel in Britney's fabulous decision. Just don't do it again.. There is no Oops, next time!

VOTE VOTE VOTE....

Please Don't forget to Vote tomorrow. The Democrats actually have a decent shot of taking over Congress and we the people can make up for the 2004 mistake. In Ohio almost all of the major Democratic candidates are winning by large margins, Thank God!!! So go to the polls, show Bush that we are watching him and disapprove of everything he is doing. Maybe we can turn this country around before it's too late!

Happy Halloween!!

May the Great Pumpkin bring you all the tricks and treats you want. I want my Jakey Poo as botha trick and a treat.... MMmmm. But until then a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Martini will have to do.

The Daily Show in Columbus

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart is coming to Columbus. With the election coming up and Ohio, once again, being THE battleground state, Jon Stewart has decided to do a week of shows in Columbus. He supposedly will have all of our big race candidates, Ted Strickland and Ken (The Devil Himself) Blackwell who are running for Governor. The Senate and congress races are close as well. This our chance to shine and make amends after the 2004 debacle where our fair state decided to re-elect dumb fuck Bush. Watch the Daily Show this week. It should be fun!!!

"Gay's" Anatomy

So George is Gay!! Grey's Anatomy star T.R. Knight has announced that he is gay. I love the show and am glad to see a gay actor play a straight character on TV, instead of the a straight actor playing gay, which is usually the case. I hope this helps change public perception of gays. You Go George!!! Apparently this all happened due to an off screen fight where Isaiah Washington (now known as Dr. McBigot), used gay slurs on our little Georgie, and McDreamy Patrick Dempsey came in to defend T.R. I knew there was a reason I loved him so much. He is now offically moving up on my boyfriends list. Maybe the show should have killed off McBigot when they had the chance last season. There is a rumor that Dr. Burke (McBigot) will be kicked off the show this season. I will cheering as he dies. Who needs him anyway, we have McDreamy, McSteamy, McAlex, and now our sweet little McGeorge. Congrats T.R.!!! If you need any gay advice, email me, I know a thing or three about being gay.

Speaking of my gayness, I want to get a Murse(a male purse, basically it's a satchel that cute), but my so-called gay husband thinks I'll look to queeny. Me? Look TOO Queeny? That's not possible. Nobody would even know I am gay if I didn't announce it to the world, open my mouth to speak, or see me swish around. TOO Queeny, Puh-lease!!!

NBC: Show some balls!!!

NBC has decided to cut the crucifix scene in Madonna's Confession Tour special which will be shown on Nov. 22. They are stating that a boycott of sponsors by 'religious groups' is the reason. I say let's boycott the sponsors that let this censorship take place. If a viewer does'nt want to see the scene, there is this 'new' invention called a remote control that they can use to magically turn the channel. Gimme a break NBC!!! What's next, will My Name is Earl sponsors be boycotted by white trash viewers who are offended. I swear, between all the censorship that is happening thanks to our dumb ass President and his equally ignorant supporters, Canada looks better and better to me. I will be watching the concert, but I am turning the channel for ALL COMMERCIALS. I won't support them. Madonna, I love you. Next time pick HBO who won't censor you!!!!

Sclemeal Sclamzel Hossenfeffer Incorporated

Say it ain't so, TV Theme songs are dead. That was the best part of many of my all time favorite shows growing up. I know shows today need more time for the story, but come on, where would America be without the Brady Bunch or Gillgan's Island theme songs. So with respect to the olden days (and since I am rapidly approaching AARP age), I am going to list my favorite TV Theme songs. Please put yours down in comments as well. So Na-nu Na-nu, here we go....

1. Brady Bunch
2. Facts of Life
3. Laverne & Shirley
4. Happy Days
5. Greatest American Hero
6. Addams Family
7. Green Acres
8. Miami Vice
9. Jeffersons
10. Mary Tyler Moore

Take a little time to enjoy the View!!

Hello Rosie.... I am loving The View even more since Rosie joined the cast. It is so much more lively and funny. I loved Meredith and was sad to see her go, I hated Star and was doing a happy dance when she left, but now the show is in top form.

Today they had that evil cow, Martha Stewart on. But as always Rosie came to the rescue and made a pumpkin carving segment hysterical. Martha and her bantering back and forth, with Joy trying to use a power drill to make holes in her pumpkin. It is now must see TV everyday. Yes I know I am sounding like a big queen, but I love that show. Even Elisabeth is better this year. She went to Payless today to pick out outfits for the co-hosts. They missed a prime opportunity to diss Star... Damn! Now that would have been great.

3 days left.....

Yes, I have 3 days left in hell... oops, I mean my current job. Thank the Lord!!! I am so ready to start a new chapter in my working life. I will be assistant manager at an upscale card shop. I am looking forward to starting over and hopefully start a fullfulling job. I will miss my manager gays, Tuck and Bry, but we can start hanging out now. I'll be posting my new misadventures from the J-O-B. I'm Out peeps (literally and figuratively).

Spooky

Tonight a group of us 'girls' went to a haunted house. Actually it was a haunted forest. It was sooooo cool and very creepy. It's at the Schmitter Estate. They set up a different kind of haunted experience. Most of it is pitch dark, outside in a forest. There is nobody chasing you with a chainsaw or blood and gore, it's simple, but high tech, fright. I loved it. If you get a chance this Halloween, go to the Estate. It was soooooo fun! Carrie screamed her ass off, even our resident lesbian who loves this sort of thing was freaked. See Lothian, you big wimp, you missed out on some fun. Next year you need to go, you know,to see your relatives in forest... hahahahhahaaaaaaaaaa!!!

Like Omigod!!

Awesome 80's Prom!! I want my MTV.... Breakfast Club... Big Hair. We should get a group together and go!!!

Top 15 Boyfriends October 2006

15. Tyler Florence - Food Network's hottest chef


14. Eric Dane - McSteamy on Grey's Anatomy


13. Patrick Dempsey - McDreamy on Grey's Anatomy


12. Tim McGraw - Country music superstud


11. Ryan Reynolds - Sexy Beast!


10. Jason Statham - Super Yummy Actor


9. Justin Chambers - Alex on Grey's Anatomy


8. Randy Orton - WWE Supertar


7. Eddie Cibrian - Hot star of Invasion


6. Grady Sizemore - Cleveland Indians Outfielder


5. Tom Brady - New England Patriots QB


4. Jesse Metcalf - John the Gardener on Desperate Housewives


3. Julian McMahon - Nip/Tuck Studmuffin


2. Reichen Burke - Gay reality star/Lance Bass' partner


1. Jake Gyllenhaal - Need I say more! He's been my #1 BF since January. Mmmm Jakey!!!

Thanks!!

I'm back home after a dreadful weekend. The funeral went as well as can be expected. Lots of tears and laughter, just the way he would have wanted it. I want to say thanks to everyone who sent their condolences. It is greatly appreciated. A special Thank You to Lothian.... I love you Babe!!!

Now on to better news. Tim and I went to see 'Mamma Mia' last night. It's the 4th time I have seen the show. It's so much fun. What's gayer than ABBA? Madonna doing ABBA (in the movie version)... Yeah!!! By the Way, did you see 'Grey's Anatomy' on Thursday. OOOHHH McSteamy is back in the buff!!!! MMmmm. Meredith will undoubtedly pick McDreamy over Finn because she's an idiot. Yea, I know he's hot, but Chris O'Donnell ain't nothing to sneeze at either. Finn is such a good guy that she will never pick him. Addison however gets to sleep with both !McDreamy or McSteamy. Lucky Bitch!!! Because of the show, my new favorite saying is 'Seriously?' There is a drinking game for GA whenever anyone says seriously you down your drink. I smell a party coming!!!!

Well, I'll be posting a new boyfriends list later this week. Plus who knows what other random thoughts will be blogged. Keep reading!

Uncle Terry - Rest in Peace

I received news yesterday that my Uncle Terry passed away in his sleep. He was only in his early 50's, he had heart problems which is sadly what took him from us so soon. I am posting this to honor him and to help myself grieve, so bare with me as I reminisce.

He was one of my favorite Uncle's growing up. He was the uncle who always made me laugh with corny jokes. He has three kids who are just as goofy as he was. Terry always showed up to family events and was the person who I sat by beacuse we would make fun of our wacky family members. I have been thinking that the holidays won't be the same without him. You always treated me like everyone else, you didn't care that I am gay, you just loved me. I will miss you.... I hope you are out of pain and in a better place.

I won't be blogging for the next few days as I have to attend his funeral. I know you didn't know him personally, but keep him in your thoughts. Tell a corny joke this week. He'll be smiling from above when you do. Here's one for you, Uncle Terry....

Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? Because his pecker is on his head!

New Children's Books out this Fall