Start having some fun, dammit!!!

That's what I've been hearing from many of my friends. I am going to start by attending a halloween movie party this Friday. I am feeling better, not completely, but starting none the less. Baxter is also doing better. I think some of his depression came from me so I am trying not to show any negative emotions around him. He is developing a ear infection though. It's not uncommon for floppy eared dogs to get them. Weber had several during the time we had him. So I'm off to the vet on Thursday, with happier results this time.

We received Weber's ashes yesterday. The box they came in is beautiful. Schoedinger did the cremation. I highly recommend them. We have a small shaving of his hair and a paw print as well. I know I'm getting better because I can talk about this without crying. It's a start.

On to some better news. I have 2 job interviews coming up. Both marketing positions. One is a re-interview so that one sounds promising. If I get a marketing job, I won't have to have surgery just yet. I can put it off for a few years. Which solves another problem. Things may just be looking up. Maybe Weber is looking down and sending me his positive karma. At least that is what I am choosing to believe.

It's Been ONE Horrible Week

One week ago today, my precious Weber was put down. I wish I could say it's getting easier, but it isn't. The grief is so overwhelming at times that I can hardly function. I feel so guilt ridden about euthanizing him. I know he was sick, but I can't seem to get past that. I am reading a book on "Saying goodbye to the pet you love" and it is at least helping me sort through my emotions. It suggested that I write a journal about Weber and the great memories I have of him. I am going to start a second blog just for that. It will be a tribute to my boy and hopefully will help in my healing.

On top of that, Baxter is grieving as well. He is sluggish, lethargic, and not very happy. He does play ball and loves going on several walks, but he still goes to the bedroom and looks for Weber. The vet said it can take about a month for him to get his mojo back. He is eating and drinking properly, but his poo is not solid. Stress, I guess. When any of you see him, give him lots of positive attention. He responds well to that.

Lastly, I found out about my ankle. I have a major decision to make and I am not making it lightly. To put it bluntly, I can live with my ankle as is, it won't get any better, but may get worse. Or I can have a third surgery that SHOULD help. Tim thinks I should have the surgery. I am not sure I can go through that again. Luckily I have until Nov 11 to let the dr know what I'm doing. I am not in amy emotional shape to make that decision now. I'll keep you posted.

Once again, I want to thank everyone who has given me so much love a support this past week. It helped more than I can say. While I am no where near through my grief, the encouragement is helpful. Tim has been a rock. I don't know how he is keeping it together. He needs to to be strong because Baxter needs that and I am a mess and can't provide that to him at the moment. If anyone has any advice as to how I can move on from this, please pass it on to me.

I came across this picture of Weber. He looks so young and healthy. That's the way I choose to remember him. I love you my Weber.

We'll Love You Forever my sweet Weber

We lost Weber today. It is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. But he is much better off now. He had liver cancer. He would not have recovered and most likely have died within a few days. I am heartsick over it. However, I need to remember all the great times we had together, all the love he showed us, and the joy he brought to both our lives. I miss you already Weber. Say hi to TC for us. We'll see you one day and I know you are watching over us. I LOVE YOU.

Weber is hanging in there

Thankfully we had for another night. He had a 104 temp, not good. A dog should be around 101. He did eat at the vet and some last night, but this morning he wouldn't eat, but is still drinking a ton of water. I am going to call the vet after 10 this morning to get his blood test results. She ruled out Diabetes due to the urine sample hshowing no signs of sugar, however he did have some blood in the sample. It could be Kidney failure, Pancreatis, or possibly Pancreatic cancer (but she stressed that she doesn't think that's it, Thank God). Obviously Pancreatitis would be best. He is on antibiotics and is resting, doesn't seem to be in pain, but he looks so down. You can tell he isn't feeling well.

Tim and I am very worried needless to say. If we have to put him down, I don't know what I'll do. I'm crying as I type this now. Plus what do we do with Baxter. He has grown up with Weber. How do we get him through the grief while we are trying to cope with it ourselves? I'm ahead of myself I know. I am just trying to prepare myself for the worst. I pray that he is ok and stays with us a few more years. I know thats selfish, but I don't care. I love that dog more than words can describe.

Thanks for all the calls, texts, and emails I recieved wishing Weber well. I'll keep you posted. Hopefully he'll be his grumpy old self again before long.

Keep Weber in your thoughts

I'm afraid we are losing him. He has stopped eating, is drinking a ton of water, and can't control his bladder. The signs of kidney failure. I am taking him to the vet tomorrow unless we have to take him toan emergency clinic tonight. I kissed him goodbye, and told him to hang in there. Spoke with Baxter, told him to watch over his big bro. Please keep him in your thoughts.