It's Been ONE Horrible Week

One week ago today, my precious Weber was put down. I wish I could say it's getting easier, but it isn't. The grief is so overwhelming at times that I can hardly function. I feel so guilt ridden about euthanizing him. I know he was sick, but I can't seem to get past that. I am reading a book on "Saying goodbye to the pet you love" and it is at least helping me sort through my emotions. It suggested that I write a journal about Weber and the great memories I have of him. I am going to start a second blog just for that. It will be a tribute to my boy and hopefully will help in my healing.

On top of that, Baxter is grieving as well. He is sluggish, lethargic, and not very happy. He does play ball and loves going on several walks, but he still goes to the bedroom and looks for Weber. The vet said it can take about a month for him to get his mojo back. He is eating and drinking properly, but his poo is not solid. Stress, I guess. When any of you see him, give him lots of positive attention. He responds well to that.

Lastly, I found out about my ankle. I have a major decision to make and I am not making it lightly. To put it bluntly, I can live with my ankle as is, it won't get any better, but may get worse. Or I can have a third surgery that SHOULD help. Tim thinks I should have the surgery. I am not sure I can go through that again. Luckily I have until Nov 11 to let the dr know what I'm doing. I am not in amy emotional shape to make that decision now. I'll keep you posted.

Once again, I want to thank everyone who has given me so much love a support this past week. It helped more than I can say. While I am no where near through my grief, the encouragement is helpful. Tim has been a rock. I don't know how he is keeping it together. He needs to to be strong because Baxter needs that and I am a mess and can't provide that to him at the moment. If anyone has any advice as to how I can move on from this, please pass it on to me.

I came across this picture of Weber. He looks so young and healthy. That's the way I choose to remember him. I love you my Weber.

We'll Love You Forever my sweet Weber

We lost Weber today. It is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. But he is much better off now. He had liver cancer. He would not have recovered and most likely have died within a few days. I am heartsick over it. However, I need to remember all the great times we had together, all the love he showed us, and the joy he brought to both our lives. I miss you already Weber. Say hi to TC for us. We'll see you one day and I know you are watching over us. I LOVE YOU.

Weber is hanging in there

Thankfully we had for another night. He had a 104 temp, not good. A dog should be around 101. He did eat at the vet and some last night, but this morning he wouldn't eat, but is still drinking a ton of water. I am going to call the vet after 10 this morning to get his blood test results. She ruled out Diabetes due to the urine sample hshowing no signs of sugar, however he did have some blood in the sample. It could be Kidney failure, Pancreatis, or possibly Pancreatic cancer (but she stressed that she doesn't think that's it, Thank God). Obviously Pancreatitis would be best. He is on antibiotics and is resting, doesn't seem to be in pain, but he looks so down. You can tell he isn't feeling well.

Tim and I am very worried needless to say. If we have to put him down, I don't know what I'll do. I'm crying as I type this now. Plus what do we do with Baxter. He has grown up with Weber. How do we get him through the grief while we are trying to cope with it ourselves? I'm ahead of myself I know. I am just trying to prepare myself for the worst. I pray that he is ok and stays with us a few more years. I know thats selfish, but I don't care. I love that dog more than words can describe.

Thanks for all the calls, texts, and emails I recieved wishing Weber well. I'll keep you posted. Hopefully he'll be his grumpy old self again before long.

Keep Weber in your thoughts

I'm afraid we are losing him. He has stopped eating, is drinking a ton of water, and can't control his bladder. The signs of kidney failure. I am taking him to the vet tomorrow unless we have to take him toan emergency clinic tonight. I kissed him goodbye, and told him to hang in there. Spoke with Baxter, told him to watch over his big bro. Please keep him in your thoughts.

When will it ever end?

Ok another bitch blog. Not only am I going through this ankle thing again (still have 5 days to find out whats wrong with it), now I am battling a wierd sinus infection. Why is it wierd? I had a cold a few weeks ago that apparently never went away even though I felt OK. Monday night, I was having horrific sinus pain. My ears were all stuffy and my head wouldn't stop pounding. I woke up in around 2am Tuesday morning and my ear exploded. Literally. The worst pain I have ever felt. It shot through the left side of my head and down my neck. But the pressure went away.

According to the dr, the pressure build up in my ear simply released. But damn did it hurt. The next day, the left side of my face went tingly and numb, and I started to get a sunburn feeling on that same side, only there was no redness. It was under my skin. GREAT!!! The Dr said it is the infection that was released. I am on anitbiotics and Mucinex D (my savior). While I still have the sunburn feeling, my face numbness has left. Scary huh!!! What else could possibly happen? Don't answer that!