Between me hyperventilating that death was eminent and watching the parking lot empty out (According to Lothian's post, apparently they were heading to B&N). I was dreaming of being Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz (did I mention I am GAY?).
Anyway, I had on the ruby slippers and the pretty blue dress, holding Slocombe (my cat) in the basket, when all the sudden, Miss Lothian comes flying by on her state of the art broom. "You best get on bitch if you want to live" she cackles. I get on her broom and we wisk off to a far away land, I think it was somewhere between Columbus and Cleveland but I can't be sure. We land in a big Beautiful mansion and see the fabulous Queen of Oz (played by Madonna, naturally). The evil Lothian zaps her wand at the enchanted Queen, but low and behold, with a flick of the wrist, Lothian melts as the Queen bitch slaps her into oblivion. Poor Lothian. We start singing 'Ding Dong the Witch is Dead', followed by a hearty chorus of 'Like A Virgin'. Then I click my heels three times and say... "I don't want to go back to work, I don't to go back to work, I don't want to go back to work."
Suddenly the sirens stop and I'm back in Columbus, getting ready to re-open the store. Lothian obviously put some sort of curse of me, because I ended up back at this shit hole. No more ruby slippers, no more Madonna, no more Lothian... Then I thought, Hah, Lothian's spell backfired, she's still at B&N, a fate worse than death. I always knew my Queen would get her revenge for all of Lothians bashing. Hah, hahahah, hahahahahhahahhaha. I think I will Vogue now.....
4 comments:
Ahhh...tornadoes. I miss a good old fashioned tornado siren. It's great to mess with southerners though. Anyimte I'm at work and we get hit with a big thunderstorm I just tell everyone that the sky looks "just like that" before a tornado hits. Hey, I never said I worked with the brightest of people. Right now we're dealing with the frenzy of hurricaine phobia thanks to Ernesto. It'll barely be a tropical storm by the time it hits here but by the way people are acting you'd think it was the second coming of Katrina.
Oh I am still alive sister, and I am "coming to get you my pretty"!!
Funny. Ding dong the witch is dead always seems to start playing when I enter a room. Oh well.
So was Columbus the only bitch to get blown that night??
Hmmm. SHIT HOLE, is not on my list of adjectives to describe that place but. . .. . .who knows. ..maybe when I'm not there it does seem like that. Or it's just the presence of princess martha that shadows the walls with a thick luster of doom comparitively like the walls of a jail cell. Not sure where I stand on that one. lol. Why don't you go hang that mirror and fill the sachet rack.
Today I almost got my wish...a tornado touched down about a mile from my store compliments of TS Ernesto.
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