Bummer!!

I feeled bummed today. I now know when my surgery will be. It's Thursday June 11. I seriously hope this one works. I am not feelinf very positive about it though if I am honest. The first surgery there was an 80% success rate. The second one was even higher at 90%. This one technically shouldn't even be happening. Dr. B bascially told me that this one is it. There isn't much else that can be done. I agree with that. Short of an total ankle replacement, what else is there. I also know that I will have major arthritis in the coming months and years. Sometimes that can be just as painful as what I'm experiencing now.

I don't want to focus on the negative, but it's hard not to. 3 months in a cast which means basically being bored outta my mind. I guess I'll be able to catch up on my reading, watch movies all day, and sleep a ton. I can also start watching "Days of our Lives" again. I'm sure not much has changed since I watched it faithfully 2 years ago. Not to mention, I'll get to watch every game of my Cleveland Indians. Mmmmm my Ryan Garko(licious). I'll also constantly be on facebook and blogging more. I also get these really great drugs. So I guess there are some positives. One major bummer is no alchohol. It doesn't mix well with Vicodin. Oh well. At least I know when it's happening so I can prepare myself.

6 months ago.....

It was 6 months today that we lost Weber. I still miss him everyday. Baxter, luckily, is showing alot of the same quirks that Weber had. So he makes it alot easier for both of us to both remember and move on. I know he is watching us all the time. Which helps as well. I know I'll eventually stop grieving him, I just don't know when that will be. So hang in there with me.

Now as for Baxter. I was asked why he needs surgery. His ACL needs replaced. He hurt it about a year ago. It went away for a while. But now it's back. He's limping, holds his leg up. He doesn't seem to be in pain which is good, but he does need the surgery (just like his daddy). We are saving the $2500 needed. Since I'm going to off most of the summer, we have decided to get it done sooner rather than later. We can recover at the same time. My poor baby.

Now on to me. I have decided to go ahead with the surgery. the tentative date is June 4. I really don't want to, but I honestly have to. I am still in alot of pain and the hardware in my ankle is starting to come loose, which means it is being rejected by my body. Paying for it is another story. I am currently trying to get short-term medcaid. I have heard it's hard to get, but it never hurts trying. I am also working with the Doctors office for payment arangements. The one bright spot is that I don't have to have it at Grant Hospital. I am having it done at the new surgical center located at the doctor's new medical building. So it's cheaper thankfully.

So in case you don't know, We are postponing our commitment ceremony til next year, I am not feeling up to it now. Plus we can't afford the cost right now. We'll try and have a summer party later when I'm feeling more up to it. Oh and Lothian, I'm so sorry but NKOTB is out for me as well (damn). I wanted to see my new BFF Joey. Oh well. It's sucks being old and crippled!!!

3rd time better be a charm

I found out today that I need to have another ankle surgery. I guess I look at this news two ways. The good news, I'll finally be out of pain...if it works. I have been in so much pain over the past 4 years that I am willing to try this again. The bad news, another 6 months out of life spent recovering. I hate thinking about all that I'll have to give for the first 3 months after surgery. Sitting down to take a shower, walking on crutches, not being able to drive. There are good parts as well. I get caught up on all my movies and tv. I spend time with Baxter. Friends will visiting me more often. I guess we will have to cancel our ceremony. But we can have it later.

I wish I could say that I'm optimistic that this one will work. I am already in that 5% of patients whose first 2 surgeries didn't work. Dr. B told me today that I have 80% chance that this will work. OOOOOOoooooo. I am just so frustrated. I almost want to forget the whole thing and live with it. Baxter also need surgery, so I need to take his needs in consideration as well. I'll update you later. Tim and I need to talk about it now.

New Kids on the Block

Hangin Tough - New Kids On The Block

10 years!!

Today is our 10 year anniversary. I can hardly believe it's been that long. I knew it was serious after our first date when Tim sent a dozen roses to me at work. I often joke that I haven't been able to get rid of him since. But in all honesty, I would be lost without him. I love you honey!!!

We don't have any major plans today. We are going out to eat at a mexican restaurant. Our first date at a now defunct mexican joint, so it's only fitting that we eat burritos and have a few margaritas. Our big celebration is that we are having a commitment ceremony on June 27. It will be at our place. Lots of food, drinks, and our family and freinds. Baxter is our best man. And Leeanne is officiating. Should be fun. Oh we'll have another wedding whenever it becomes recognized nationally, but until then, we can at least express our love to each other, god, and whomever is attending. Should be fun!!!