Problems Problems Problems

It seems like it will never end. I may have to have the screw that was put in my ankle during surgery, taken out. Just when I think I am finally getting better, something else happens. This is a bit graphic, so don't read if you are squeamish!!! The screw is protruding out of my heal. I can see a bump, feel the screw underneath my skin, and it hurts to walk with shoes. I don't know when, where, or even if this procedure is going to happen. I should know soon. Hopefully this is the end.... Until the other ankle needs operated on, that is.

I start my Masters program next Wed. and have an oreintation tonight. I am actually excited to be going back to school. I have been out 9 months, and have had one credible job interview. I am hoping that a Masters will give me some help in securing a good job. I don't have much experience in the Marketing world. It is so hard to obtain any experience when you need to work and can't take an internship for little or no money. So I am relying on my education to hopefully land me a good marketing job, maybe in Chicago!!!

No more boot! Get well soon Madonna!!!!

So it has been awhile since I've blogged. Sorry about that. I'll try to do better on updating at least weekly from now on.

I just got back from my doctor. My ankle is totally healed according to the X-ray. He wants me totally out of my walking boot. Never to be put on again. That is fine with me. I hate that thing anything. But I am a bit leary about twisting my ankle, or making it swell too much. I'll be wearing a brace that should give me support, but I should only wear that a few weeks. We'll see. All in all, I am finally getting better. Now I can concentrate on being my normal bitchy self again. YAY Me!!!

Madonna, my love, please don't get on that horse again. I know there are certain readers of my blog who won't agree with that statement, but I don't want my #1 diva to get seriously hurt. I have nothing against the horse in question, he was probably nervous knowing that the 'Material Girl' herself was riding him (like so many before him). Madonna, since you read my blog everyday, you are aware that I am your #1 fan. I worship everything about you. I need you to keep making great music, I want to see you on tour next summer, and we all need you to keep being the 'Queen of the Queens'. Get well soon!!!

Work, therapy, and shit!

It's been a week since I returned to B&N. Things are going OK. I get a bit tired, and I'm sore when I get home, but all in all everything is good. I'm sorry about the last post. I just needed to vent. Most people in my life, both personally and professionally, understand what I am going through. I appreciate everyone who has given me encouragement. They even have time to make fun of the cripple. Thank God! Things are getting back to normal.

PT is getting tougher. My instructor is pushing me to my limit, which hopefully means I'll recover quicker. I just need to do my home exercises regularly. I hate doing them, but they need to be done. If you see me, ask me if I've done them. That help motivate me more.

I went to the Ohio State Fait yesterday with Tim. It was OK. Same as usual. White trash, gang bangers, and carnies make up some good people watching. I was unable to see everything this year, but at least I got a Lemon Shake-up. Damn those things should be illegal.

I saw 'Napolean Dynamite' this weekend. "Lucky". That has to be the best stupid movie ever. "Sweet".

This whole thing sucks!!!

I am back to work finally. The first day went great. I was in some pain, but it wasn't bad. I was just glad to be back. But yesterday was awful. From the moment I came to work, I was hurting. I sat down as much as possible (I work retail, so sitting is rare) and the managers gave me tasks that don't require major amounts of standing, but unfortunately it didn't help. I think I am trying to hard to come back quicker. My physical therapy (pt) instructor agian emphasized that my surgery is one of the most difficult to recover and that it will take time, possibly more than a year.

Although most everyone has been great in understanding my situation, I still am getting annoyed by people who think I am wimpy, can't handle pain, and basically think I don't want to get better. They obviously haven't been in my situation. I have suppressed alot of pain for the benefit of people around me. I know complaining and whining gets old, so I often act better than I actually am. Only Tim, my partner, knows how I am really feeeling. So when I do complain, I am in more pain than normal. I'm sorry if I come off as milking this injury. Trust me, I'm not. I want nothing more than to be 100% HEALTHY AGAIN. I had no clue that this would take as long as it has to recover. Do you know how much that depresses me to think that I will be going through this for another year? It sucks. If you don't want to hear me when I complain or whine, change the subject, help me get my mind off of it, or simply walk away. I won't be upset wi9th that. I get more upset when people question whether I am faking or milking this, or saying rude things behind my back. When I start feeling good again, you'll notice. I'll be back to my fun-loving, catty, bitchy self. No one wants that more than me!

I'm walking.

In Physical Therapy today, I put a shoe on for the first time since April and with the help of a cane, I walked. It felt weird, a bit rubbery, but I walked across a room to a stationary bike and peddled, slowly, for 4 min. I finally feel as if I am finally starting to get better. I guess the 'old lady' compression hose are working. The next big test is to work for the first time since March. Tomorrow is the day. I know I'll be hurting at the end of the shift, but at least I am finally healing.

Now on to more important news, 'Queer as Folk'. Only one more episode left (sniff sniff). There is still alot to be decided. I don't think Mel and Linds will move to Canada (although I don't blame them if they do). Mel will decide to stay in Pittsburgh and fight to protect their family. Michael and Ben will undoubtedly live happily ever in 'Stepford land' and Hunter will finally get his life back together. Since Emmitt dumped the hot QB Drew, I think he will end up with Ted once Ted dumps his overbearing boyfriend. As for Brian and Justin, I think Brian will once again sacrifice his happiness, call off the wedding, and force Justin to pursue his art career in NYC. Brian will end up alone, waiting for Justin. I am going to miss this show. I doubt we will ever see anything like it on American TV again.