This whole thing sucks!!!

I am back to work finally. The first day went great. I was in some pain, but it wasn't bad. I was just glad to be back. But yesterday was awful. From the moment I came to work, I was hurting. I sat down as much as possible (I work retail, so sitting is rare) and the managers gave me tasks that don't require major amounts of standing, but unfortunately it didn't help. I think I am trying to hard to come back quicker. My physical therapy (pt) instructor agian emphasized that my surgery is one of the most difficult to recover and that it will take time, possibly more than a year.

Although most everyone has been great in understanding my situation, I still am getting annoyed by people who think I am wimpy, can't handle pain, and basically think I don't want to get better. They obviously haven't been in my situation. I have suppressed alot of pain for the benefit of people around me. I know complaining and whining gets old, so I often act better than I actually am. Only Tim, my partner, knows how I am really feeeling. So when I do complain, I am in more pain than normal. I'm sorry if I come off as milking this injury. Trust me, I'm not. I want nothing more than to be 100% HEALTHY AGAIN. I had no clue that this would take as long as it has to recover. Do you know how much that depresses me to think that I will be going through this for another year? It sucks. If you don't want to hear me when I complain or whine, change the subject, help me get my mind off of it, or simply walk away. I won't be upset wi9th that. I get more upset when people question whether I am faking or milking this, or saying rude things behind my back. When I start feeling good again, you'll notice. I'll be back to my fun-loving, catty, bitchy self. No one wants that more than me!